A Death Wish
"Good Afternoon students. Today's topic will be a murder mystery that I know you will enjoy solving. For if we the people of Psittacidae Four, cannot understand why the Earthlings murder, how shall we be able interact them, when we permit contact?"
"This is my favorite class, Earth Two. As a matter of introduction my name is Yllop. Oh yes, we study you Earthlings, we have for centuries. We pilot what you call Flying Saucers. There is another such expression, how stupid of me to have forgotten it. Oh yes, you call it Swamp Gas. We are about to watch a video that was made on a recent trip to Earth by one of our ships. It is titled of all things, "A Death Wish." It seems to be about two Earthlings. One like us and"....
"Yllop are you day dreaming again? See here my fine young Drib, will you please pay attention?"
"Yes sir, sorry sir."
"Well now students, how shall we begin today's lecture? Since we cannot begin with a Rekcarc break, we shall begin with the video."
"Hello Earthlings, this Yllop again. Before the video starts I should mention this is not a movie. This was taken by one of our probes and all that you will see actually happened. Ah, the video begins"........
My dear God, here she comes again. Walter couldn't even believe it. He doubted if he could live another day with her. It wasn't that she was a bad person, it was just that she couldn't keep her mouth shut. Once she opened that huge cavern she seldom shut it till bed time. At least 95% of her time was spent talking to him. It was becoming so bad that he could hardly think. All Walter could ever see of her was mouth twisted into that sickening smile and that voice. Dear God, that voice. She had decided that his vocabulary wasn't broad enough and had taken it upon herself to broaden it. Would he ever have any peace?
He never quite knew when the idea came to him. Once it did the idea grew and grew until it was all consuming. His race had the power, deep down inside to make thoughts happen. He just had to get some peace. So he began planning his "Death Wish."
"There you are. How is my little Walter doing today? Did you sleep well last night? Mommy fixed her little baby's breakfast. You look pale this morning. Is there anything wrong? Don't worry mommy will call the doctor. Here drink some of this. You naughty boy, you shouldn't bite at Mother. Oh, it must be your fever. It's all right dear, mommy understands."
Walter wasn't sick but we would be in another minute if she didn't shut her mouth. He couldn't take much more.
"Now you just sit right there and Mother will go to the drug store and get you some medicine. I'll be a little while. Good-bye precious."
At last there was quiet. Quiet seemed to hang about the house. Maybe she wouldn't come back. Would he ever be that lucky?
Maybe her car would collide with another or hit a truck or a train. He didn't know how but one way or another he had to get rid of her and for good.
He didn't remember the first time he had met her, although he couldn't possibly understand why he couldn't. That was a once in a life time experience. How could he have forgotten? At least his memory spared him that. If only he didn't have to listen to her. She had always treated him nice. He had a nice home and plenty of good food.
"Mothers back. That stupid druggist said he didn't have any medicine for you. Perhaps if mommy makes a nice hot broth of chicken it might make you better?"
"Shut up you old hag!"
"Walter how could you? Oh, it must be the fever. For a minute I thought you might have meant it. You do love Mother don't you? Your just Mothers little baby. Give Mother a kiss. Come on Walter, give mommy a big kiss!"
Walter took a big bite out of her nose!
"Walter how could you! You've drawn blood! You might have broken my nose. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you. Here, Mother is better. Look it isn't bleeding too badly. I'll just go get a Band-Aid. I won't be a minute."
Walter was proud of himself. At long last he had mustered up enough courage to strike back. If only he had enough courage to rid himself of her for good. He knew if he didn't do it pretty soon she would drive him insane. Dear God, here she comes again.
"Mothers back. Is my poor little Walter feeling any better. Why your so weak you can barely stand up. Your eyes they look so peaked. Mommy will make you your lunch. Oh, I know I'll make that salad with all the passion fruit that you like. Now you just stay here and mommy will run to the store and buy some fresh fruit and vegetables for her baby. Walter don't stick your tongue out like that. If I didn't know any better I'd think you meant that for me. Now isn't that silly. Now you be a good boy while mammas gone."
Walter began his Death Wish again. If he only had the nerve to kill her himself. Even if he got up the nerve he still wouldn't be able to do it himself. She was much to big and far to strong for him. Maybe if he used his hidden power and wished hard enough the wish would come true. So as she drove off he intensified his thoughts.
How would he begin it? It would have to do it's purpose without hurting any one else. That would rule out a collision with another car or truck. Her car could get hit by a train but someone else still might be hurt. All at once he had the idea and with the idea came the wish. He didn't know anything about praying but he thought a small prayer couldn't hurt. So he began.....
He could see her in his minds eye as she drove the big shiny car down the coastal highway. The highway ran along the ocean on a high cliff.
Almost three hundred feet to the ocean below he had heard someone say. She is pressing the accelerator to the floor. The big car is beginning to pick up speed. Faster and faster until the needle stood at eighty, that should be fast enough. The sun is shinning bright. There is a cool breeze coming in from the ocean. A bright shiny guard rail is on the
left side of the car. On the other side a gentle slope covered in grass. Up the road a mile or so where the road goes into a curve, a truck carrying glass drops a small window. The driver of the truck doesn't notice his loss and drives on.
"It's such a nice day and the road is in good condition I guess I could drive a little faster. After all eighty isn't all that fast and I haven't seen a policeman on this road in years. It is such a lovely day."
The left front tire runs over the broken window pane. Suddenly she hears an explosion. The car careens out of control. The shiny new grill and bumper are crushed as they hit the steel rail. The guard rail is strong but 4,000 pounds of metal traveling at 80 miles per hour snaps the rail into. For a moment the car seems to hang in the air. It sails like a leaf. Then suddenly from out of nowhere a jagged cliff arises and the car explodes into a ball of flame. No longer the leaf but twisted fiery metal plummeting to the sea. It stays afloat only a few seconds before swiftly sinking. High above on the cliff people gather to stand and watch helplessly. A police siren is heard and then one from an ambulance but they are already too late. Walter came out of his trance.
Walter hadn't felt this good in years. Had it actually happened? There was one fast way of finding out. He turned on the radio for the 12 o'clock local news. The clock showed 30 minutes until the hour. How the time dragged on and on. He could hardly wait. He had to listen to an album side by a group called "Dead Politicians ." He couldn't understand half of the words. Then there was a commercial about bad breath. She could have used some of that, he thought to himself. Would they never announce the news? Seconds took hours to pass and minutes seem to take days! Then at last a man began to announce the news.
...."that wraps up the world news. Now turning to local news, this just in. A spectacular accident occurred this morning just north of the city. A car driven by a Mrs. Walter R. Kellogg apparently crashed through a guard rail before plummeting three hundred feet into the sea. Witnesses said that Mrs. Kellogg lost control of the car when a front tire exploded."
Walter breathed a sigh of relief, his wish had come true.
"Fortunately Mrs. Kellogg was thrown free of the car before it left the highway and suffered only minor injuries. In other news students protested against....."
That was all Walter could take. He turned off the radio and sat down and began to cry. Was he never to be rid of her? What was he to do now? It was all up to him. He knew he couldn't stand the sight of that mouth again. After all it had been twelve years! Would there never be any peace? He knew if he didn't do it soon he would lose his chance forever. He couldn't bear the thought of another twelve years. There was someone at the door. He could hear the voices of at least three people.
"You sure you're all right lady?"
"Are you sure there isn't anything else we can do?"
"No, I'll be all right after I sit down for a while. Thank you very much, I'm perfectly all right now. Good-bye."
Heavenly Father, here she comes again!
"Walter darling, Mother is all right. She was just in a little accident. Nothing to worry about. Come sit on Mothers lap. Here I'll open the door for you. Come on Mother wants to see you."
This was his last chance. Had he the courage? It was now or never. He flew at her with a rage. A rage that had been building inside of him for twelve long years. Something snapped inside him. He found himself upon her. Hitting her with everything he had. Her neck snapped backwards and hit a table with a sickening thud. She let out a gasp and then lay perfectly still.
It was over. Walter went back to his cage. No longer would she drive him insane. At last there was peace in the house.
"Hello Earthlings this is Yllop again. Did you enjoy the video? It may be sometime before I understand why Walter killed Mrs. Kellogg. In any event I have the advantage over you. Remember when I tried to explain that this story took place between two Earthlings. One like us and..."
"Yllop are you talking again?"
"Yes sir. I was just trying to explain to the Earthlings about the video."
"Oh, excuse me, go right ahead."
"As I was saying about the two Earthlings before my teacher interrupted me. One was like us and one was human. You don't understand? We the people of Psittacidae Four are what you would call on Earth parrots. Who was the parrot in the video. Why, Walter of course. I'm sorry but I must leave. Class has been dismissed and I must get to my next class, Mars 101. Good-bye."